Let the Goal Find You.
Ahhh. The first Monday of 2015. The newest of new pages. I mean c’mon… nobody really starts their New Years Resolutions on January 1st… they ‘wait until Monday.’
They wait ’til Monday to start the diet… to join the gym… to stop eating sugar.
Yeah… the Magical Monday of the New Year… when everything is different… Except it’s not, right?
I used to be a serial goal-setter. And I’m not exaggerating. Sometimes I would find pieces of paper or journals lying around that literally just had lists and lists of goals and ‘challenges.’ Everything from exercising daily to saving more money. Occasionally there would be one about not hitting the snooze button or saying ‘yes’ to more fun things.
Then, last year a funny thing happened. I decided I wasn’t going to set any goals. It was the first year since I could remember that I had nothing. I was just confused. I didn’t even know what I wanted to accomplish. Sure I could do more yoga. Try running. Save money. Meal plan. Finally start my business. Bleh. It all sounded so whats-the-point.
I’m sure you could tell by now I wasn’t in a good place. I think I secretly knew 2014 was going to be a year of extremely uncomfortable growing pains, and all I wanted to do was get it over with.
So the months went by. I learned how to shuck an oyster. I turned 27, meh. I got sick. I went on a last minute, much needed getaway to the Dominican Republic with two of my best friends. I went through B-School. I started a business. I was a bridesmaid in NOLA. I got sick. I started teaching exercise classes again. I went to DC. I got a root canal. I was a bridesmaid in Paris. I went to Ibiza, what? I started teaching more exercise classes. I got pneumonia. My dog died. I gave my boyfriend pneumonia. And on December 31, 2014 I quit my job. Also, by the looks of my pictures I dyed my hair quite a few times.
Now I'm not saying that I'm 'over' the whole goal-setting thing. It just took me all year to realize, that maybe sometimes you just need to let the goal find you. See at the beginning of last year I could have never imagined that half of these things would have happened. But all of the opportunities that came my way made me realize what I was craving in the first place. I rediscovered my pure love for movement and teaching. I realized how much I missed making time for travel (and how much I hated being restricted to 'PTO' days). I felt from the core of my being how valuable my relationships are.
But I wasn’t making time for any of it. I was so bogged down between trying to balance work, with more work, with more work, with my family, my relationship, my friendships, and my house, that I wasn’t able to enjoy any of it. Getting hit with pneumonia was a real wake up call, but it finally hit me when I was on the phone with a coaching client and I thought to myself “I can’t help you! I can barely get myself to do the things I want to do!”
It was time for me to walk my talk and create space for what I really wanted: Time. Energy. Health. Passion. Love.
So the week before 2014 ended, I decided to go full force towards it.
Here's how I did it.
This Girl’s Guide to Goal Setting
1. Appreciate what you already have.
If you’re reading this… you have a computer. And the internet. Already you have resources that millions of people across the globe don’t have access to. You are fine. Remind yourself of this daily.
2. Lose your shit.
It’s OK to meltdown. Permission granted. I had a major meltdown. Ok, a couple of major meltdowns. It was a round robin of sorts. I cried to my doctor, my mother, my boyfriend, my shower. The usual suspects. The ugly, snotty, sorta cry too.
3. Figure out what you really want and what you really don’t want.
Go ahead, figure it out. It might be something that you already know but are afraid to say out loud. For me, I knew that I wanted to start my business. I wanted to teach. I wanted to have energy. I wanted to have more time for my relationships. I didn’t want to work 40 hours a week for someone else… and guess what? That’s OK. So whatever you figure out… that’s OK too.
4. Figure out why you want those things.
These things make me fucking happy. And not the kind of fake happy you see on someones Facebook wall or Instagram pics. The real indescribable happy you have when you walk around just smiling for no real reason. What lights you up? Is your goal getting you closer towards having more of that in your life?
5. Figure out how to get them.
What do you need to make your thing happen? I knew I needed more time and I needed to be healthy. I needed to walk my talk. I cant build my business, teach classes, support my relationships, and travel without those things.
6. Ask for help.
My Mom’s famous saying “You don’t get what you don’t ask for.” I reached out to see if people needed my expertise, part-time. Something stable that I could really sink my teeth into, while also giving me the freedom to teach and grow my business further. No matter what your goal, its almost impossible to do it alone. Trust me. Ask for help. Phone a friend. Call ya motha!
7. Be flexible.
Know that your plans might change. Goals you never knew you had might find you. Be open to them. Be flexible. And most of all no matter what you decide to do… be grateful for all of it.
I hope this guide helps you get off on the right foot this year, I know it's helped me.
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